Friday, July 26, 2013

Lost in the pain...

but clinging to hope.

Dear readers, it has been a while since I have written. I pray that you forgive me but the storms of life have reached new heights of ferocity. As the gales blow and the waters lash, I fight to hold my wheel and not allow the storm to toss me to and fro. I hope to pass through this storm, likely battered and bruised, possibly listing to one side or the other and almost certainly riding low in the waters for having taken on water from some sprung boards at the keel. If you see my ship limping it's way into your harbor, I beg that you give me shelter and aid until such time as new timbers have been shored up, the sprung boards have been battened down, re-pitched, new rigging and canvas obtained such that I will once again be sea worthy.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Gear Review: Springfield Armory XD(m) 40

Hey there folks! I thought it was about time I got around to doing a review so here we go...

Today's guest is the Springfield Armory XD(m)40. Let's see, first things first some specs: this is a polymer frame pistol with steel slide and match grade 4.5 in barrel. Mine is in .40S&W and has a capacity of 16+1. It has a ambidextrous magazine release and standard sites. It has the all black Melonite finish. (Don't ask me what that is exactly, it's what they call it) It comes with 3 interchangeable back-straps to accommodate different hand sizes. The very nice case it comes with also includes 3 magazines, a polymer pistol holster, a dual magazine holster, speed loader for the magazine and a cleaning brush.
Mine is also considered to be a mk1 version. They have since come out with a newer model that has been cosmetically modified but to the best of my knowledge has not been changed mechanically. The biggest difference is the slide serrations. Mine are straight slashes and the new ones have chevrons cuts. So now on to the rest of the fun stuff.

I found the XDm to be a very user friendly firearm. I have read a number of folks who's opinions differ from my own but again, as with my Mossberg, I will continue to like my choice. Getting the full magazine inserted into the pistol can be difficult at first. It requires a good solid smack on the base plate to seat it all the way. Some folks complain about this and as compared to a 1911 I can see the complaint. Personally I like it, when I load up I feel confident that I am good to go when I give it a good smack. Ejecting a full magazine is also very difficult as well. While I can do it with just the magazine release, I find that giving some upward pressure on the base plate while I hit the release will has it coming out just fine. Again, some folks complain about this but I have two questions. First why would you have a sudden need to eject a full magazine under combat situations? I mean, isn't the saying for clearing a jam to tap, rack, bang? Well if you try to fire and can't (because I don't know, maybe you forgot to chamber a round in the first place) then racking the slide should clear this issue. My second question is this, if the magazine requires good force to seat it, and extra pressure to release it if full, then isn't that a pretty good thing because it means that the magazine isn't falling out of the pistol.

Firing to me is a breeze. I have found that as long as you maintain anything even resembling a proper firing grip that the grip safety will always be engaged. I have read more than one forum with users (who by the way are glock fans in general) complaining about the grip safety and it stopping them from firing under emergency circumstances (if they were to ever supposedly be in such a situation). Seriously though, I have tried to hold the pistol (unloaded of course) in such a way as to prevent me from engaging the grip safety and the only way I could resulted in me holding the pistol in such a way and to make firing it almost impossible. I said almost because yes I could still manipulate the trigger but in order to reach it I felt all sorts of wrong and of course, the grip safety prevented me from pulling the trigger as it should. There is a safe action trigger, much like on Glock and the Smith & Wesson M&P lines.

Regular cleaning is a breeze. Lock back the slide, eject the magazine, flip up the take down level and release the slide to remove. Pop out the recoil spring and guide rod, remove the barrel and there you go. Ready for cleaning.

I will admit to some prejudice with this particular firearm. This was my first pistol to own. I took some time in choosing this one and it really came down to the ease of tear down vs the S&W M&P at the time. I think the M&P' have been improved because I have heard from a owner of one of the new Shield models that the tear down is very easy on them now. I did try comparing to Glocks as well and found they didn't work well in my hand. I am very happy with my choice of firearm. The Springfield Armory company has a fantastic customer service department and I would highly recommend this pistol to anyone who is thinking about a purchase. I hope that you have enjoyed this review. I am sorry for not including more pictures. Until next time....Keep a weather eye out!

lost bearings...

When I was a small child, some things went wrong in my life...about as wrong as they can go for a child. I remember that I had been taught that Heavenly Father loved me. That if I had enough faith and prayed, that He would hear my prayers and answer them. I can't say that I remember any one prayer. I can say that this was when my faith broke with my belief. I believe everything I was taught as I grew up. I still don't question the truth of those things. There were many prayers after that day. Some were very fervent, some were said more as a means of calming myself down. Some days I held hope for an answer. Maybe that was desperation in my soul speaking, maybe it was something else. As I grew older I had less faith...in myself to live up to the standards and things I was being taught. I don't know that I have ever fully built that faith back. I still believe and try to live accord to those beliefs but that is not the same as living on faith. Faith to me seems to be stronger than belief. My faith is weak. I am weak. Some who know me might disagree with that assessment. They will say how I am stronger than anyone they know. I disagree. I know that I could be better, stronger. I don't know if I am more crushed by the fact that I am not the man I could be or the knowledge of who that man is.

I know the lessons that are taught in my religion. That to have more faith and stronger faith that you must exercise it first. Blind faith is the term I believe. But after this exercise of faith that the confirmation of that faith will present itself and your faith can grow. Where is that first grain supposed to come from? When does it qualify as a grain of faith and not acting on beliefs? Is acting on beliefs considered an act of faith or is it acting on held knowledge of certain outcomes and results. I have heard that faith is the belief in things not seen or touched but only hoped for that cannot be proven except through that same faith.

I don't know if it is an exercising of faith but I try to set a good example for my kids. I try to make sure that we go to church every week. I attempt to teach them right from wrong. I had to talk specifically to my daughter the other day and explain that just because something is legal doesn't make it right. I try to teach them not to fight with each other, to take turns and be polite. Some days they seem to get it. Some days I get to see them doing the things I have taught and the happiness and pride surge through my entire body. I know they are good kids because I have seen them when they didn't know I was looking. I love those two. They make me proud to be their Dad.

Weeellllllll....I know when I started this post I had an end goal that I was shooting for, but to paraphrase from The Doctor...from a strictly non- linear point of view, blogs are like tangled up balls of wibbely wobbly timey whimey stuff......yeah, that one got away from me too....

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I would like to say something...

I know I am not the most articulate of people. I sometimes fear to speak because my thoughts might not keep up with those of others. I believe in logic, reason, compassion, empathy and sympathy. I believe in working for what I have and expect to be able to enjoy those things. I love my family and my friends. I believe there is much evil in the world and that it will only be combated by those who are willing to take a stand against it. I believe that there is a right and wrong that is independent of mankind and his ability to reshape things to his own views. I know right now that there are a lot of my friends here and on Facebook along with those who are not online who have very strong opinions about the current political environment. I would hope that we can all agree that each of us is part of a larger brotherhood of humans. That when you strip everything away, we each have the same basic needs and wants.

I know that My words may be used against me by some trying to sway my viewpoint to their position. This is the reason for my fear of speaking out. Having someone take my words and contort them into an attack against me shows me only that they do not value me or my thoughts. All I ask is that you can respect me and allow me to respect you in our differing views.
I wanted to share these thoughts with you readers. I had originally posted them on my Facebook account and modified them slightly here to correct some grammar and spelling issues and direct my comments to a wider audience. I know I don't have all the answers. I do know that humans are some very amazingly resourceful and capable creatures when they can find common ground and work through problems.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

it's not the fall that will get you....

It's the sudden stop at the bottom. How did life ever get so damn complicated? Why does it seem that in order to be happy, someone else will have to be unhappy? Are my expectations so far away from realistic as to be considered impossible? Should I even try to be happy? Do I even deserve to be happy more than not? I understand that no one is happy all of the time. I know that everyone has at least some neutral times. I guess I just go so very very long between times when I can honestly say I am happy and content that it is really dragging me down even lower.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Abandon All Hope...

Sliding into the Abyss
Just past the precipice
Straining, reaching but nothing to hold
Screaming as the darkness takes you
all is lost

The cold seeps through your bones
the heart turns to stone
Ration turns to madness
logic burns to ash
Up is down, insanity crushes everything in between

When pain grows strong,
the flames freezing you blood
Death shows it's smile
opening it's arms wide in a welcoming embrace
yet still no escape

As the tourniquet of the grave circles around
you slide further down through the blackness of void
No respite is given, no easy path shown
No failure forgiven, Every mistake shown
Even the final sleep can't hold back the nightmares
As the demons creep through, each tearing out it's pound of flesh right from your heart

Machine gun rattle, rips from the night
Every round on the mark
They burn with icy screams
On and on the slicing pain tears
jagged holes never to mend

To all ye who enter here
Abandon all hope of those things to which you hold
Fear, pain, misery, death...those are the currency found here